Here we go again!

Why do I have to start this over and over and over! I don't know why I just can't seem to get in the right frame of mind. I'd been doing so well and then I lost it. I decided that I need to do it now! I'm planning a big trip next spring to Australia. Do I want to go there fat? NO!!! Have you ever sat on a plane for 24-30 hours when your fat ass doesn't fit in the seat. Well, I have no intention of doing that! I have a goal of losing 40 pounds or so by April. I'd like to be down to at least 220 if not lower but I don't think that's possible in 6 months. It should be though ... I should be able to lose 10 lbs a month for a total of 60 lbs which would bring me pretty close to 200. That would make me very happy and have a comfortable trip. Wish me luck!

I decided that I would follow a 1500 cal/day diet. I started off well Sunday and Monday but then Tuesday I had a lunch date and then a dinner date with friends as well. Wednesday, I had a dinner date as well. Boy, am I glad that's over with. I didn't do too badly on Wednesday ... I even at a chicken salad for dinner with a glass of water (no beer :( which I love) but then everyone was having dessert so I had a lemon tart with blueberries/whipped cream. I don't think it had all that many calories. Then I came home and started to binge. Why? The only thing I can think of is that since I had the tart, I figured I blew it, might just as well enjoy myself. This truly is a head game.

Anyway, I'm really hoping I can stick with it this time .... I need to get on that plane!!!

End of the August Challenge!

Well, I finished up Tammy's Challenge for the month of August with a 9.6 weight loss. I checked in at 255.4. I'm good with that. Now if I could do that every month I'll be happy.

I'm going to have a challenge in October. I've been too busy to get one going for September. I'll work on that this month so it's good to go.

I'm hoping to check in again very soon and be in the 40's. Woohoo! That would be so awesome.

A new challenge!

Well, I'm starting another challenge. This was is being put on again by Tammy for the month of August. I need to get my butt in gear. After struggling with WW for 3 months I've decided to take on this challenge and see how I do. I'm a bit late getting started. Everyone else started on August 1st but since I've been away on holidays I thought "better late that not at all ... right? Anyway, we'll see how that goes. I probably won't get started till Monday but that still gives me a good amount of time to work at it.

After being away for 11 days I was expecting an awful sight on the scales. I thought that I might even see the 70's. Thank goodness I didn't. I first weighed in this morning at 260.2 and then I stepped on and off 4 times because I couldn't believe that I didn't gain a ton of weight. By the end I finally settled on 265.0. Not good but not in the 70's and that makes me very happy.

I'm planning on having a challenge myself in September so pass along to anyone you know about it once I get a name for it. I think I'll be giving away a couple of Biggest Loser books I have as prizes. I'll think about a name in the next few weeks and post about it.

Good luck to everyone on this challenge if you're taking part. Otherwise, I hope you all doing well.

Sean and Kenz's Water Challenge!

I've decided to accept the Challenge that Sean and Kenz are having. I don't think I'll have too much trouble with this one, since I'm really good at drinking my water. There are some days that I've been a little slack so this will keep me on track hopefully.

Things have been going about the same the past few days. The weather has been so incredibly hot, but I have still managed to get my walking in.  I have walked since July 1st a total of 27.78 km (17.26 miles for my U.S. friends). I haven't gone yet today. I try to wait until 8:30 p.m. or so when the sun isn't shining too much anymore. We have been suffering from a heatwave up here now for the past week. Today it currently is 34 degrees (93 degrees Farenheit) and with the humidex it feels like 45 degrees (113 degrees Farenheit). I'm surprised that I have kept it up in this heat because this is usually an excuse of mine ... to not walk because it's too hot. It is actually very dangerous to be doing anything strenuous during this heat but I can't give up now.

My weigh in for WW is tomorrow morning. I'm not expecting anything, although I sure as hell deserve it. I've been very good, but I know that with all this heat and humidity I am retaining fluid. I will keep struggling along.

I'll try to check in with an update on my weigh in.

Holy Hell ... I'm hot!

LOL! Well .... at least the weather is!!! It is so flipping hot. It has been 36 degrees with the humidex making it feeling like 44 the last couple of days. Unbelievable!

Things are going about the same and my weight is not moving anywhere. I'm doing pretty well on the eating part of things but my weight will not drop. I'm fluctuating between 258 and 262 all the time. Too bad I didn't have this weight off. I think I might be a pro at maintenance this time. I don't know what else to do.

I've started walking at the first of July and so far, as of today, have walked 23.83 km. That's even in the blistering heatwave. I'm going to try to walk everyday this month and see what the scales say by the end of July. There had better be something.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get the damn scales to move in the right direction. I have such a problem with fluid retention, especially in this heat, that I'm hoping once it cools off I have a huge drop. I'll keep at it though and eventually I should see the 50's and stay there, that is until I can get to the 40's. At this rate, I'll never get this weight off.

Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well and I'll check back in soon. I'm hoping for a bit of a drop at Friday's weigh in. We'll see!

Still the same ....

Well for the last 4 weeks, I've been doing nothing. I haven't been working very hard at this weight loss thing. I certainly have been maintaining and that is a good thing. I've been up a few pounds and down a few but I'm still the same. This morning the scales said 258.8. I'm happy with that. I really want to see the 40's by July 1st. I don't know if I can get 9 pounds off in 10 days. I think if I really work at it I might just be able to. I'm going to give it all I've got this week. I need to get into the 40's badly. I'm hoping that once I get there, I might be a little more motivated. When you have so much weight to lose, it's almost as if "why bother, I'll never be able to do it". The main thing is that I'm not gaining. My clothes are all feeling much loser. In fact, the other day I went out shopping to replace some of my faded things and ended up buying as size smaller in everything.

Anyway, just wanted to check in and let you know I'm still alive. I hope everyone is well and enjoying their summer.

Crossing over!

Finally after so long I have finally crossed over the 260's and into the 250's. Yesterday morning I got up and weighed in at 259.8. Today for my official weigh in, I weighed in at 259.4. I am so excited because it's taken me so damn long to get there. It seemed that no matter what I did I couldn't get through that barrier. After I had lost 10 pounds in 2 weeks at WW, I had visitors. With that came lots of bad food choices. A relative came to see the nation's capital for the first time in her 65 years. You can't not go through life without ever having tasted Beavertails and poutine. Of course, I indulged as well. Two beavertails at that, but not on the same day. :) I never went to WW last week to weigh in because her last night we had Chinese Buffet. MSG is totally my enemy. I felt I didn't want to waste my time by driving all the way into the city to get weighed for a gain. Sure, it would keep me accountable, but since then I have been totally on track. Actually, I'm very excited for my weigh in on Thursday at WW. I'm hoping to at least see 258 that day.

Anyway, I'll continue to my very best and see where that leads. Tomorrow I'm heading down to the U.S. to do some shopping. My son and husband went down to see the Atlantis blast off for the final time. I will meet them and will do some shopping. Then when we return through Customs, they have been there for a week so they can bring lots home without paying duty/taxes. I'm hoping to find a few things to wear to work, but the best part is the groceries at Super Walmart. I get so excited because there's lots of things I can take to work for lunch.

Must run and get on with my day.

Monday morning weigh in!

Well,  I decided to weigh in this morning. 264.9 ... again! I saw this number on the scales a couple of weeks ago. I joined WW on Thursday afternoon. I have a few friends at work that have just joined as well, so there will be lots of support there. I'm happy about that! I have done exactly as I'm supposed to from Friday morning on. Counted and weighed absolutely everything. I'm hoping for a really good loss this week. The scales were higher at WW than they are at home. I have some WW scales at home but of course, all scales weigh different. I will continue to use my weigh from home for my weigh ins on here. I will have lost the same amount of weight, just the numbers are lower at home.

I need to weigh in for the final weigh in of Tammy's Summer Challenge on Friday. I know that I haven't lost my 10 pounds but I'm OK with that. I'll let you know how that goes.

Is it easier or not! Day 17

This post is no way meant to be critical of anyone. This is just an observation of mine.

I read a lot of weight loss blogs .... lots! Too many actually. I spend far too much time reading when I could be doing something else ... like maybe exercise! lol! Anyway, my observation is a lot of these people do not work. Yes, there are a few that do, but on the most part I find a lot don't. Is it any easier when you don't have to go to work everyday. I think it might be. I'm out the door a 6:15 in the morning after getting up at 5:15 to get ready. I either work 8 or 12 hour shifts. By the time I get home I am done! Sometimes even making supper is such a chore. It's easier to make something quick. Exercise is another matter altogether. I have no energy to even go for a walk. I think that if I was home I'd go out for a walk more, be able to make healthier meals and look after me more.

I need some suggestions on how I can set some sort of routine so that I can get in my exercise and have healthy meals! My days off are usually quite busy and it goes on and on! Blah blah blah ... I'm sure you've heard it all! These are just excuses I know but I need some help in routine. I'm a very organized person in every way except in my own personal issues. I need time for ME!

Do I or Do I Not? Weigh in -- Day 15

Do I or Do I not weigh in??? I do not!!! I've had a horrible weekend. After a nearly perfect week last week and a gain of .3 in the TSC I was so totally frustrated that I basically binged all weekend. I ate everything and anything that I wanted. This is not good. I am not weighing in this morning!!! If I do, I know in this crooked mind of mine that I will continue to eat because the scales can't help but be UP!!! I know that I need to be accountable to myself, but I know myself and I think I just need to be good all week and hopefully, I might see a bit of a loss by Friday. I sure don't need to worry about getting a tacky Florida souvenir (even though I requested none). I'll be lucky to lose anything at the rate I'm going. I still have almost 2 weeks, so I'm hoping I at least get the scales to budge a little bit in the right direction.

Monday weigh in -- Day 8

Today is really my official weigh in but since I'm doing TSC I also weigh in on Friday's. So for now I have two weigh ins. Today I weighed 266.1 which is up 1 from Friday. I'm not really impressed by that. I had a decent weekend. I probably went over my calories by a few but really not enough to gain a pound. I'm chalking it up to fluid gain. Hopefully, it will be gone soon. I'm not getting all stressed about it and completely falling off the wagon. I will continue to do well this week. I'm looking forward to my Friday weigh in for the challenge.

I'm working evenings this week. Sometimes I find that this is easier while I'm trying to lose weight because I get up later in the morning so I don't have to spread the food out over so long. I can get all the calories in in a shorter length of time and I feel more satisfied. I'm still fighting hunger every day. Does this ever go away? lol!!

Fri -- Day 5

Well, today was the first weigh in day for Tammy's Summer Challenge. I was so excited to jump on the scales this morning because I knew I had done well. Well last Friday I weighed in at 268.8 and I never really got started until Monday of this week after a horrible weekend of drinking and eating bad choices. lol!!! Anyway, I was super excited to see 265.1. That's a loss of 3.7 in just 4 days. I'm already looking forward to next weeks weigh in.

I didn't have a good today eating though. I didn't plan and ended up eating a bunch of crap. I'm not even going to bother recording everything here as it's almost an embarrassment. Let's just say it included Breakfast sandwich from Tim Horton's for breakfast, 1 slice pizza for lunch, poutine after work and then around 9 p.m. when I was making some pancakes for my husband I had one along with 1 slice of bacon. Oops! I just told you what I ate. I'm OK with that. I need to be accountable to myself as well as anyone who follows along. Tomorrow is another day.

My official weigh in day is Monday so hopefully, I will be down. I just need to be good all weekend so that I stay down. I plan on doing just that!!!!

I was in a real funk this past week, but I think I've got the problem sorted out and I'm feeling pretty happy right now so that can only mean good things. I'm hoping to get in a bunch of exercise this weekend as well as good eating.

Anyway, have a good weekend everyone!

Thurs -- Day 4 Funk!

I'm in a funk! I don't feel like writing anything today so I'm not. I'm still on track though and looking forward to tomorrow's weigh in.

Wed ... Day 3

I've a good day, although I'm in a terrible mood. I was not a happy camper at work today. I said to my son who I work with "I hate this place and everyone in it". lol!! Actually, that's not true, it's just my mood. I've got something going on that's kind of upsetting me. Hopefully, I'll get it sorted out before the week is over and I'll be feeling better. I have been on program or should I say "on challenge" again today though. That I'm proud of me.

Food for the day:

Breakfast -- 1 egg -- 75, 1/4 c. egg whites -- 30, 1 oz ham -- 60, 1/2 oz cheese -- 55, 1 tbsp. ketchup -- 60
Snack -- cottage cheese double -- 130, banana -- 100
Lunch -- Maple Leaf Sweet and Sour Chicken/Rice and vegetables -- 390, yogurt -- 35
Dinner -- Greek Salad with Feta -- 400 (Guesstimate)
Snack -- 12 Whoppers -- 200

Total = 1535 cal

Exercise -- 2 minutes on stepper
(not in the mood to exercise)

Tues .... Day 2

I've had a good day today. I was extremely tired though because I didn't sleep well. That usually sends me into a feeding frenzy but not today for some reason. After I came home from work I had a 1 hr nap. When I got up I was really hungry but managed to behave. Hopefully, I can keep up this momentum. I'm so excited about doing Tammy's Challenge that I'm hoping it's what keeps me going in the right direction.

Food for the day:

Breakfast -- 4 oz orange juice -- 55 cal, 2 eggs -- 150cal, 1 slice whole wheat toast -- 110
Snack -- Cottage cheese double -- 130 cal, banana -- 100
Lunch -- 1 oz cheese -- 110, wrap -- 150, tuna -- 140, 1 tbsp lite may -- 45, yogurt -- 35
Dinner -- 1 cup Habitant Pea Soup -- 170, 8 soda crackers -- 100, 5 1/2 oz green grapes -- 105

Total = 1400 cal

Exercise: None today

Accountability!!

I need accountability!!! So I'm thinking I should write down everyday what I eat and do for exercise....especially while doing Tammy's challenge.... so here goes!

Breakfast .... Banana smoothie
Break .... yogurt and banana, 2 oz cheese
Lunch .... Salad with ham and cheese (spinach, romaine, red onion, cucumber, tomato)
Snack .... protein bar
Dinner .... M&M chicken breast with ricotta/spinach (150 cal) and 1/2 cup scalloped potatoes, green grapes

6 bottles of water

Walked 2 miles
Biked 2 miles

Weigh Day!

Well, I was disappointed this morning to see 270.8. I know that it's fluid because of my drinking and eating pizza on the weekend.  I also had ham for Easter dinner and there's more sodium. I need to stay away from that stuff. I'm OK with it but still disappointed. I know I need to do better than that if the scales are going to move at all. I was thinking today why I'm having such a hard time. I have no idea, but I'm thinking that if I ever get out of the 60's I might get some motivation. I'd love to see the 50's and the 40's and then I think I'll really be motivated. Right now though I'm struggling. I've had a great day so far today and am hoping that the rest of the day continues in the same direction. This week I am going to try as hard as I possibly can and see what kind of results I'll see next week.

Wasted!!!!

I did something I haven't done in years. I went out last night to a bar... the "Crazy Horse" in Ottawa. I had a blast ... BUT I drank way TOO much! I don't drink very much, just an occasional drink here and there but if I go out it's usually one. Last night I had 4 Smirnoff Ice, 2 beer and 4 shooters. LOL! It was a country bar and I danced up a storm. I had a great time! Today I felt absolutely horrible. I went to bed at around 2:30 am and when I woke up at 8:30 I was still loaded. I stayed all night at a friend's house and knew that I couldn't even drive at 8:30. I had a horrible headache, so after getting some Advil into me I went back to bed for a couple of hours. I knew the only thing to help me feel better was crappy food and chocolate milk. So, I ordered some of the best pizza in town and headed home around 1 p.m. I ate 2 pieces of pizza in the car on my way. Then I had to lay down for a nap ... actually a 3 hour nap. lol! I got up and ate more pizza. So throughout the day I had 4 pieces of pizza and a couple of glasses of chocolate milk. I feel better now, although I'm still tired. Won't be long out of bed tonight. I just have to chalk this past 24 hours to bad decision making, although I don't feel that bad considering the face I haven't done this in a long time. I had fun dancing and singing all night. I even had a few young fellas dancing with me. They must have been looking for a "cougar". hehe!!!

Anyway, tomorrow is a new day. Since I'm doing "Tammy's Challenge", I need to get at it.

April Fools!!!

Well, I wanted to weigh in today and see what the scales said for the first of the month. I'm very disappointed!!! They said 268.8!!! I was hoping to be 265 which was my goal. Two days ago they said 267.2 and I was sure I was going to just about make it.  I've been very good the last couple of days except for last evening having a couple of brownies. I had a soft taco for supper and I'm sure there was some sodium in the meat but jeez, I only had one and that was it!!! I've been drinking my water too! Oh well, there's not much I can do about it. Hopefully I'll have a loss by Monday. I'm setting another goal for end of April ... 255 lbs. I really need to get at it if it's going to be this hard!

Weigh In!

I'm happy to report that the scales moved in the right direction again! 268.4!! Pretty good, I guess. I didn't have a very good week but my weekend was decent. I worked all weekend and chose to make good choices. Hopefully, I can continue this week. My goal that I have set is to reach 265 by April 1st. That gives me 3 days to lose 3.4 pounds. Can I do it? I probably can if I really try. I need to get some exercise in though. I'll post my weight on April 1st no matter what it is. I have in my head I'd like to lose 10 pounds a month with 265 being my first goal. I can hardly believe that I'm thinking 255 by the end of April, 245 by the end of May, etc., etc. How many times do I have to do this? I need to get it done.

I don't really have much of a support system and find it so hard to do this. Everyone wants to sabotage me and I am weak. I try to be strong but just can't. I read different blogs and think about how they've worked so hard and are now just a few pounds away from goal and here I am MORE than I was when I started reading them. Oh well, no sense beating myself up.... I need to just DO IT!!!! The warmer weather is coming and there is absolutely no reason why I can't go out for a walk or a bike ride except for the fact that I'm too fat and uncomfortable, but only work will help that. I really think I need to go speak to a professional that deals with overeating. This is obviously an addiction. Maybe I'll look into that. We have EAP (Employee Assistance Program) at work that is free and offers all kinds of help. I'll see if there's anyone who deals with this sort of thing.

Gotta run ... errands to do. This is my one day off till Friday, so I need to get a move on.

Have a good week everyone!!!

Weigh In!

Well, I delayed getting on the scales this morning because I didn't have a very good weekend. I did a bit of bingeing on Sat night and then Sunday was a good day until the evening when I decided I needed junk at 9 p.m. I watched a movie and ate bread with cheese melted on it under the broiler. Obviously, I'm craving carbs. :( Later on around 11:30 I ate a chocolate bar. Well, actually it was 2 of them since they come 2 in a pack. One of my favorite bars is a Hershey's Heath bar. I pick them up when I'm in the U.S. since we can't buy them here in Canada. I have eaten 2 (4) of them in 2 days. Anyway, the scales said 271.7. I was pleasantly surprised with this. Yes, they are still up from before my trip but definitely down from when I came home.

Gotta run .... off to work.

Going Down!

Well, I gave in and weighed myself Tuesday after my last post. I was 278.8. Holy shit!!! A lot of that was fluid I know. I was good most of the week eating wise. I didn't do any exercise but was pretty careful eating. Friday morning I weighed in at 271.3. I was happy with that! Yesterday wasn't a very good day though. I had a bit of a binge last night. This morning the scales said 272.2. That's OK, I'm going to get right back at it today. We've had beautiful weather here all week and I was planning on going for a walk this weekend. Today it is cold and dreary. I just might still get out there and try to get in a few miles. I'll try to behave this weekend and then put my official weigh-in on Monday morning.

I'm home!

Well, I'm home after a long, long drive from Florida. You should have seen my calves and ankles. They were so full of fluid that it was almost funny, except for the fact that they hurt like hell. I could hardly walk. It must have been from sitting in the car for 15 hours one day and 13 the next, not to mention all the crap I ate while away. Eating out is not good for me! Anyway, there will be no weigh in until Monday. Then I will see what the damage is. The swelling is going down pretty good though. Let's hope it continues. I've been doing not too bad on the eating side of things yesterday or today.

Getting tired!

Well, I'm down to my second last day in Florida. Then we have a 2 day drive to get home. I have to admit that I am looking forward to getting home. I should know better. When I eat crap all the time, I feel like crap. I've been eating badly for 2 weeks (or more) and am starting to feel gross!!! I have so much fluid on board from all the extra sodium. I'll be glad to get home and start eating properly. I'm not going to weigh in on Monday morning. I think I'll wait until Tuesday. Hopefully after a day of careful eating and drinking my water I might lose a bit of the fluid. Wish me luck with that! lol! After sitting in the car for 2 days I can only imagine how bad that weigh in will be.!

Soaking up the sun!!!

I'm down in Florida soaking up some sun. It hasn't been that warm but good enough. I haven't been dieting at all so nothing to post here. I'm hoping that I can at least not gain TOO much while here. I'm doing a fair bit of walking so hopefully that's helping. I'll really need to get back at it and strict about it on my return home. I have another week here and all the food and drink are not helping me. Anyway, I'll be back next week and post the bad news then.

We are proud!!!

Way to go Joannie Rochette. Bronze medal! We are so proud of you!

Barely hanging on!

So I've been making it through the last few days, but barely. I did so well today and then I came home after driving in a hellish snow storm. It was the worst storm of the year so far I think. I've been driving for many years and I think this was one of the worst I've driven in. It's very mild so the snow is wet and slushy and lots of accumulation. My son and his girlfriend had pizza and of course, I couldn't say no. It was from Pizza Hut and had stuffed crust. OMG it was so good!!!! I only had one piece. I think it might be OK though because I only had salad for supper. I hope I don't pay for this on the scales in the morning.

Overall decent day!

Today was overall ... a decent day. I need to be more organized for work though. I was very hungry at work because I only had breakfast and no lunch so by 2:30 I was starving. I went to Tim Horton's and got a chicken salad sandwich. I checked out the nutritional guide and it has 380 cal. Not bad, except I had cheese on mine, so I figure 500 cal for the sandwich. It was good and filling. I came home after working the evening shift and of course was starving. This is my worst time of day. I could put in all my calories in the evening. I ate a piece of steak that was in the fridge. It could have been worse! It could have been potato chips!!! I'm pleased with the day. I'd say I stayed around 1500-1600 calories for the day.

Another spoiled day!

Today was the first day of me trying once again to lose some of this weight. Needless to say I failed already. Why is so hard that I can never get going. I used to be able to stick with it and do what I had to. Now as I get older I find it so much harder. What a great way to start a weight loss blog ... failure. I will continue to try every day until I succeed. I'm not going to do any fancy diets. I'm thinking if I can do what Sean over at www.losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com does I should be able to succeed. Nothing should be off limits. I just need to limit my calories for the day. I love to eat and I love to eat things that aren't good for me so I need to cap those calories at 1500. I'm hoping that the weather will start warming up so that I can start walking. Anyway, I'll try once again tomorrow. What else can I do?